Mozambique Thanksgiving: A How to Guide in 24 easy steps.

Step 1: Travel a great distance to a (mildly) central location for the maximum number of particapents. Bonus points are granted if the location doesn’t have electricity.

Step 2: Locate turkeys

Step 3: Carry the turkeys back to the house (about an hour and a half away. More bonus points if this is accomplished between 10am and 2pm)

Step 4: Get the turkeys drunk

Step 5:  Laugh at the drunk turkeys.

Step 6: Kill the turkeys

Step 7: Defether the turkeys

Step 8: Convince the Kitten that turkey feathers are not a hazard.

Step 9: Put the turkeys in a vat of brine.

Step 10: Sleep until the sun wakes you up again.

Step 11: Get the oven up and running. (this steps requires months of forethought so that the oven can be built.)

Step 12: Drink some coconut water

Step 13: Start making some pie!  The best are made with the local ingredients: Mangoes and Pumpkin

Step 14: Put the pies in the oven

Step 15: Feed all leftovers to the pigs

Step 16: Gather other ingredients

Step 17: Make a hand turkey

Step 18:  Have a cooking party on the other side of the porch when Stephanie is distracted by making pies.

Step 19: Wear a funny hat

Step 20: Be stared at by children through the fence

Step 21: Play some football (with a ball made of paper and tape)

Step 22: Odds and Ends

Step 23:Carve the Turkeys

Step 24: Get mad at Stephanie when she makes you stop and take a picture instead of eating all the food.

Step 25: Enjoy!