Step 1: Travel a great distance to a (mildly) central location for the maximum number of particapents. Bonus points are granted if the location doesn’t have electricity.
Step 2: Locate turkeys
Step 3: Carry the turkeys back to the house (about an hour and a half away. More bonus points if this is accomplished between 10am and 2pm)
Step 4: Get the turkeys drunk
Step 5: Laugh at the drunk turkeys.
Step 6: Kill the turkeys
Step 7: Defether the turkeys
Step 8: Convince the Kitten that turkey feathers are not a hazard.
Step 9: Put the turkeys in a vat of brine.
Step 10: Sleep until the sun wakes you up again.
Step 11: Get the oven up and running. (this steps requires months of forethought so that the oven can be built.)
Step 12: Drink some coconut water
Step 13: Start making some pie! The best are made with the local ingredients: Mangoes and Pumpkin
Step 14: Put the pies in the oven
Step 15: Feed all leftovers to the pigs
Step 16: Gather other ingredients
Step 17: Make a hand turkey
Step 18: Have a cooking party on the other side of the porch when Stephanie is distracted by making pies.
Step 19: Wear a funny hat
Step 20: Be stared at by children through the fence
Step 21: Play some football (with a ball made of paper and tape)
Step 22: Odds and Ends
Step 23:Carve the Turkeys
Step 24: Get mad at Stephanie when she makes you stop and take a picture instead of eating all the food.
Step 25: Enjoy!